Friday, November 25, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Why this girl is never single for long...
Hey, ladies! Do you ever find yourself wondering "why am I always single?" or "why can I not keep a man?" Well, have no fear, this blog is to help YOU better yourself in the relationship department. Now, I may not be married to the love of my life BUT for well over 10 years now I have been in many serious, long-term relationships, one right after another and you usually do not see me single for long, so with these tips you can find Mr. Right and hopefully be well on your way to the altar.
Now, to start with the easy stuff, be yourself. I've seen many girls act like a ditzy girl who doesn't know the difference between her head and her behind that's shoved in to a size 4 pair of jeans when she should be wearing a size 6, guys don't want to date someone who is fake. Be you, that's when you're going to find someone who really loves you for you and you can really enjoy life. Whether you are a little goofy and dorky or a little O.C.D., it's fine, someone out there will appreciate those things about you and probably think they are adorable. Don't try to pretend to be someone you're not, the truth will come out soon enough and it may not be pretty.
Next, be honest and upfront from the beginning and keep it that way. If there is something you do not like about the guy you are on a date with, let him know. Don't be a bitch about it but do say "Hey, I'm not really a big fan of people who start bar fights. I want to be able to go out with you and not have to worry about trouble starting." It's that easy. If they do happen to get upset that you are honest with them then he is still an immature little boy and isn't worth your time. Also, be honest with what you are looking for. If you want to one day get married and have children, he needs to know that just in case he is looking for something different. He will tell you if that's not what he's looking for at the moment because if he is that type of guy that is just looking for a good time, you are wasting his time just as much as he is wasting yours. Wouldn't you want someone to be honest with you too? And on that note, if a guy is honest with you about something listen and try to understand where he is coming from, there's no crime in listening!
Here is another easy one, smile and laugh, not like a patient in an insane asylum but if it's funny or he says something sweet, show him! Guys respond to a pretty girl smiling and laughing and so does everyone else. :) And this shows that you have a sense of humor and like to have fun. Guys do not want a girl that they have to "worry" about if they are enjoying themselves and let me tell you, you do not need someone else to make you have a good time, bring the fun yourself, it makes it easier on both parties. Now, you do not have to be a stand up comic but if you've got a funny anecdote from work, share it with him, it will take some of the work off of him and it shows that you can open up.
Now here's a big one, do not be needy. Girls make this mistake a lot. It's time to put your big girl undies on and be independent. You do not need someone to pay your bills, feed you, give you money and make you happy, you need to be able to do all of those things before you even THINK about getting in to a relationship. Establish yourself. Show him that with or without him, you can still survive. Men were not created to keep women alive, I know men do feel that they should be the providers of the family, which is somewhat true but women need to be able to do their part too and you have got to show them that you can! This will also, in turn, give you great self-confidence which is another aspect men respond to.
Also, be a beautiful person not just outside but inside, as well. Be kind and thoughtful. Have a good head on your shoulders and think of the glass half full. What I mean by all of this is, let him know you're thinking of him by doing something sweet and do NOT expect something in return. Also, make the right decisions in your life, if you go to the bar every single night and go home with a different guy each night you're not going to catch that handsome prince, you're going to get nothing but toads and you'll probably end up with warts! Another thing, do not be a complainer. Guys do not want to hear constant bitching about this or that little thing every minute of everyday. Life sucks and we all have problems, so get over it! There are people in some countries who go long periods of time without food and water, so you chipping a nail is nothing to cry about. In other words, don't be a complaining bitch, don't be a whining, crying mess and don't be a whore.
On to a difficult task that we all have faced at least once in our lives, jealousy. Guys HATE it. They want to be able to go hang out with the boys WITHOUT you every once in a while and you need to LET HIM. This doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore, it just means he needs some guy time to breathe, that's all. You two do not need to spend every second together and I don't understand why you would want to in the first place. You need to remember not every guy is a cheating bastard, there are many men out there that are, well MEN and are faithful. If you find yourself getting jealous just remember, he chose YOU for a reason and that blonde bimbo that works at Hooters is not going to steal your man away. Now if she does steal him, then your "man" is not a MAN, he is a boy who is not ready for a real relationship and still needs time to grow up and realize that sex is not what life is all about. That is not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with and I'm going to tell you now, you never will because he will never want to take that step. Also, when he does go out without you, let him enjoy himself, do not call or text him every five minutes; it will royally piss him off and trust me, what he's doing is probably not something that is that interesting to you anyway.
And here's another difficult task I see girls have problems overcoming, being materialistic. Yes, it is nice to have nice things but just like sex, it is not the most important thing in life. With that being said, if you are the type of girl that expects men to spend all of their hard earned money on you like clothes and god knows what else, you need to grow up. Life is not about what kind of jeans you wear and if you've got Prada sunglasses on. Now I'm not saying I dislike Prada, what I'm saying is I don't want a man to have to buy that stuff for me, this is also where the independent trait that you should have comes in. Buy that stuff YOURSELF. Let him buy you gifts when he thinks he should not because you ask him or "hint" to him that he should. Then those nice things will have sentimental meaning and you will cherish them more and longer. If you don't see this, then in the long run it will just stress him out having to buy you crap all the time and eventually he will see that all you want him for is his money and he will leave you, end of story. So, if that is the kind of woman you want to be then let me tell you, you'll be a lonely old woman with really nice STUFF.
Now here is a very important tip, so pay attention! BE A LADY. I say this because if you act like a respectable lady you will get a respectable man who respects you in return. Do not dress in your sluttiest outfit every single night, save it for when you two are behind closed doors, every guy who is not him should not be seeing you like that. Do not pass gas, burp and/or cuss like a sailor in public, and really you shouldn't do it on purpose if you're not in public either, it's not cute. Have some respect for yourself and other people will respect you. If you act like a dirty, drunken, slutty slob everywhere you go, guess what? That's the kind of BOY, not man, you will get.
And this is where I get a little real with you, I do this and have finally realized it needs to stop. Do not do everything for the person you are with all the time. Do not drop everything in your life for a guy who happens to tell you he loves you because when push comes to shove, his feelings for you may not be what he said they were. Now, I don't mean stop cooking dinner for him or anything like that, what I mean is take care of yourself first. That is who should be the most important person FIRST because at the end of the day, that is all you have. Yes, you can make him very happy by doing every single thing for him and every single thing he asks you to do but let me tell you, there is a chance and even though I say this you could also be the exception to the rule but I doubt it, there is a chance you could be left high and dry with nothing to show for it but a broken heart and he doesn't even know you exist anymore. Let him be a big boy and do things on his own, he doesn't need you to survive.
So there you go, ladies. I hope this helps those of you that can't seem to find someone that is worth your time because you do or don't do some of these things I have said. We all deserve someone who will love, value and cherish us for the amazing people we are and I believe these tips about relationships will help us find them. They are out there, somewhere, so don't let them pass you by.
Now, to start with the easy stuff, be yourself. I've seen many girls act like a ditzy girl who doesn't know the difference between her head and her behind that's shoved in to a size 4 pair of jeans when she should be wearing a size 6, guys don't want to date someone who is fake. Be you, that's when you're going to find someone who really loves you for you and you can really enjoy life. Whether you are a little goofy and dorky or a little O.C.D., it's fine, someone out there will appreciate those things about you and probably think they are adorable. Don't try to pretend to be someone you're not, the truth will come out soon enough and it may not be pretty.
Next, be honest and upfront from the beginning and keep it that way. If there is something you do not like about the guy you are on a date with, let him know. Don't be a bitch about it but do say "Hey, I'm not really a big fan of people who start bar fights. I want to be able to go out with you and not have to worry about trouble starting." It's that easy. If they do happen to get upset that you are honest with them then he is still an immature little boy and isn't worth your time. Also, be honest with what you are looking for. If you want to one day get married and have children, he needs to know that just in case he is looking for something different. He will tell you if that's not what he's looking for at the moment because if he is that type of guy that is just looking for a good time, you are wasting his time just as much as he is wasting yours. Wouldn't you want someone to be honest with you too? And on that note, if a guy is honest with you about something listen and try to understand where he is coming from, there's no crime in listening!
Here is another easy one, smile and laugh, not like a patient in an insane asylum but if it's funny or he says something sweet, show him! Guys respond to a pretty girl smiling and laughing and so does everyone else. :) And this shows that you have a sense of humor and like to have fun. Guys do not want a girl that they have to "worry" about if they are enjoying themselves and let me tell you, you do not need someone else to make you have a good time, bring the fun yourself, it makes it easier on both parties. Now, you do not have to be a stand up comic but if you've got a funny anecdote from work, share it with him, it will take some of the work off of him and it shows that you can open up.
Now here's a big one, do not be needy. Girls make this mistake a lot. It's time to put your big girl undies on and be independent. You do not need someone to pay your bills, feed you, give you money and make you happy, you need to be able to do all of those things before you even THINK about getting in to a relationship. Establish yourself. Show him that with or without him, you can still survive. Men were not created to keep women alive, I know men do feel that they should be the providers of the family, which is somewhat true but women need to be able to do their part too and you have got to show them that you can! This will also, in turn, give you great self-confidence which is another aspect men respond to.
Also, be a beautiful person not just outside but inside, as well. Be kind and thoughtful. Have a good head on your shoulders and think of the glass half full. What I mean by all of this is, let him know you're thinking of him by doing something sweet and do NOT expect something in return. Also, make the right decisions in your life, if you go to the bar every single night and go home with a different guy each night you're not going to catch that handsome prince, you're going to get nothing but toads and you'll probably end up with warts! Another thing, do not be a complainer. Guys do not want to hear constant bitching about this or that little thing every minute of everyday. Life sucks and we all have problems, so get over it! There are people in some countries who go long periods of time without food and water, so you chipping a nail is nothing to cry about. In other words, don't be a complaining bitch, don't be a whining, crying mess and don't be a whore.
On to a difficult task that we all have faced at least once in our lives, jealousy. Guys HATE it. They want to be able to go hang out with the boys WITHOUT you every once in a while and you need to LET HIM. This doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore, it just means he needs some guy time to breathe, that's all. You two do not need to spend every second together and I don't understand why you would want to in the first place. You need to remember not every guy is a cheating bastard, there are many men out there that are, well MEN and are faithful. If you find yourself getting jealous just remember, he chose YOU for a reason and that blonde bimbo that works at Hooters is not going to steal your man away. Now if she does steal him, then your "man" is not a MAN, he is a boy who is not ready for a real relationship and still needs time to grow up and realize that sex is not what life is all about. That is not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with and I'm going to tell you now, you never will because he will never want to take that step. Also, when he does go out without you, let him enjoy himself, do not call or text him every five minutes; it will royally piss him off and trust me, what he's doing is probably not something that is that interesting to you anyway.
And here's another difficult task I see girls have problems overcoming, being materialistic. Yes, it is nice to have nice things but just like sex, it is not the most important thing in life. With that being said, if you are the type of girl that expects men to spend all of their hard earned money on you like clothes and god knows what else, you need to grow up. Life is not about what kind of jeans you wear and if you've got Prada sunglasses on. Now I'm not saying I dislike Prada, what I'm saying is I don't want a man to have to buy that stuff for me, this is also where the independent trait that you should have comes in. Buy that stuff YOURSELF. Let him buy you gifts when he thinks he should not because you ask him or "hint" to him that he should. Then those nice things will have sentimental meaning and you will cherish them more and longer. If you don't see this, then in the long run it will just stress him out having to buy you crap all the time and eventually he will see that all you want him for is his money and he will leave you, end of story. So, if that is the kind of woman you want to be then let me tell you, you'll be a lonely old woman with really nice STUFF.
Now here is a very important tip, so pay attention! BE A LADY. I say this because if you act like a respectable lady you will get a respectable man who respects you in return. Do not dress in your sluttiest outfit every single night, save it for when you two are behind closed doors, every guy who is not him should not be seeing you like that. Do not pass gas, burp and/or cuss like a sailor in public, and really you shouldn't do it on purpose if you're not in public either, it's not cute. Have some respect for yourself and other people will respect you. If you act like a dirty, drunken, slutty slob everywhere you go, guess what? That's the kind of BOY, not man, you will get.
And this is where I get a little real with you, I do this and have finally realized it needs to stop. Do not do everything for the person you are with all the time. Do not drop everything in your life for a guy who happens to tell you he loves you because when push comes to shove, his feelings for you may not be what he said they were. Now, I don't mean stop cooking dinner for him or anything like that, what I mean is take care of yourself first. That is who should be the most important person FIRST because at the end of the day, that is all you have. Yes, you can make him very happy by doing every single thing for him and every single thing he asks you to do but let me tell you, there is a chance and even though I say this you could also be the exception to the rule but I doubt it, there is a chance you could be left high and dry with nothing to show for it but a broken heart and he doesn't even know you exist anymore. Let him be a big boy and do things on his own, he doesn't need you to survive.
So there you go, ladies. I hope this helps those of you that can't seem to find someone that is worth your time because you do or don't do some of these things I have said. We all deserve someone who will love, value and cherish us for the amazing people we are and I believe these tips about relationships will help us find them. They are out there, somewhere, so don't let them pass you by.
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